I’m fine when it comes to handling stress but it’s after the stress when I go into a deep coma of depression. The mania is kicking in hardcore and I have to literally do mind over matter and talk myself down.
When your battles are all in your head, who can really save you? Only yourself. Which then leaves me in this fucked up predicament of how am I going to get out of this?
I’ve received numerous texts today from wonderful friends who have given me sound advice. Whether or not I listen to it and take it is another thing. It’s like when you’re young and you know you shouldn’t do something but you do it anyway! Pretty much all the time for me. My body tells me no and my mind says yes. I guess the opposite of R. Kelly is what I face each and every time my mind races and wants to have a mood swing.
I wonder sometimes if all this blabbering makes any sense to you.. Especially since I don’t edit these posts! However, just typing this out now on my phone makes me realize what I need to do.
Get rest. And that I will. Maybe my mind will be clearer tomorrow.