Mania is waiting around the corner.

When I am busy and have deadlines for work he’s always there to help me. Like a close friend who jumps out with a trampoline to save me from the fire whenever I’m in need. Except this friend is the asshole fireman because once I jump out of the window they remove the bouncy object and I come crashing into the ground. Then he watches me bleed paralyzed and walks away before spraying me with his water hose.

That’s mania for you. It’s unforgiving and manipulative. It’s sweet and sour. It’s the life of the party who’s a crack addict. It’s your employer who gives you a raise and hires a new employee behind your back with a shitty résumé. Welcome to the world of the high.

Because what goes (up, up, way) up MUST come (crashing) down.

I have a busy week ahead of me and I’m so fearful of becoming manic, losing control over the weekend and regretting something. Or not showing up for work on Monday. I purposely planned more events next week at work so I wouldn’t crash. But I hope I don’t get wiped out. I started on a few more side projects (as usual) and need to just maintain this stability.

Cross your fingers I don’t fuck it up.

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